Complete Sonic Randomness of DOOM!
by D-man 523
Summary: 4 People with short attention spans... LIKE ME! Rated T for language, Drugs, and character death. Stay away, Amy fans!
1. Yo

******HEY, IT'S ME AGAIN! I'VE RETURNED WITH A FUNNIER STORY THAN LAST TIME. ENJOY!**

**It started out as a normal day for Sonic, turning into a where-wolf and defeating Doctor Egg man. Sonic got up and ate his usual breakfast of nails and milk, enjoying the crunchiness. Sonic finished and put it back into his naked-Amy shaped fridge. "Mm mm! What a delicious breakfast!" He said in that gay voice of his and went into the living room. Suddenly, Doctor Egg man fell through the roof, but now shaped like a Potato! He took out a can from his pocket which read Instant _Cthulu: Just add water!_, and he went into Sonics kitchen. "What the hell is going on here? Why is Doctor Egg man in my house?!" Sonic said to himself. Man, he's a weirdo... He even talks to himself. And he has a gay voice. Did I already say that? No, screw_ you. Anyways_, Sonic went to the kitchen to stop Doctor Egg man. Doctor Egg man was baking cookies. "What the hell are you doing you freak?! I thought I killed you!" Sonic yelled at him. "Oh_ you..."_Doctor Egg man said with a gay wave to Sonic. "I can't BE killed... MUAHAHAHA!!! You buffoon! Did you really think you could defeat me? HA!" Egg man bellowed. "Uh... Yeah, I kinda did." Sonic replied.**

**"Nu uh" Doctor Egg man said and pouted.**

**"Uh huh."  
****"Nu uh."**

**"Uh huh."**

**"Nu uh."**

**"SCREW YOU EGG MAN!" Sonic said and sliced Eggman's eyes out. He fell tothe floor and bled to death. A sound was heard. 'Ding!' Egg man suddenly got back up. "My cookies!" He as and he opened up the oven and took the cookies out. Egg man then pranced away while singing "Shackler's Revenge" by Guns N' Roses. A few minutes later, Shadow and Amy showed up, making out on his pool table. Sonic went into the room and gasped. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FUKN HOUSE! I JUST CLEANED THAT POOL TABLE!" hE SCREAMED. Shadow left, but Amy stayed there. "I SAID GET OUT!" He said, but she still stayed there. Sonic went to the kitchen and made the Instant Cthulu mix. It went into the pool room and tore out Amy's ribs and then her spine. After that he stabbed her with her spine and ran off to terrorize Green Spill Zone radioactivity zone. Sonic took Amy's ribs and played them like a xylophone with her spine. He then went outside for a bit. He walked past Mario who simply said "Let's a go" And then jumped on Sonic's head. "Oh, it's on Sonic said and they got into a death match of Paper, Rock, scissors. Mario did rock and Sonic did scissors. "I-a Beated-a you, Sonic!" He said. **

**"Nu uh. scissors cut Rock." Sonic said, whining.**

**"No, Rock crushes scissors, you tard!"**

**"NO!" Sonic said and got tottaly pzowned by Mario. "Take dat foo." Mario said after stabbing Sonic in the crotch. "Ohhh..."**

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REAL SHORT, BUT NO FLAMES PLEASE! MY FIRST HUMOR STORY. PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORY, ABOUT THE GORILLAZ, THE BEST BAND EVER!**


	2. Wat?

**HEY! I'M BACK, WITH A NEW CHAPTER! I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A 2 CHAPTERS AFTER A COUPLE DAYS. SORRY ABOUT THE GROSSNESS!**

**Sonic woke up next week puking blood. He was still fzeelin it from Mario's smack down, dog(note: I m _not_a gangsta!). All of a sudden, he really needed to take a crap. He was chained to the crapper for hours! A few minutes later, he needed to go again. The process was repeated. Later, Sonic went to the doctors. "Excuse my for the language sir, but you've got fukn diarrhea, and a hemorrhoid on your thigh." The doctor said after checking Sonic out. "But doc! I can't fight the forces of evil with diarrhea and a hemorrhoid!" Sonic replied. "Well Sonic, you're just going to have to get used to it and chillax, yo." "What the hell is wrong wth you? You're speakin gangsta speak dog." He replied. "I just wanted to belong... Homie S dog..." The dog(I mean doc) said solemnly. "Wat-eva..." Sonic said witha gay voice. He then pranced off, with a real feminine skip in his step. He went over to the green spill zone for a while. '_Maybe some radioactive drugs will calm me down..."_He said and took out his crack pipe. A little while later, he was high as hell. "Pretty pink elephant... What are you doing in the lake...?" He mumbled to himself. He got up for a second, but felt woozy. Suddenly, Amy showed up with a crack pipe too. "Like, OMG, you eat shrooms too?!" She said. "Waaa..." Sonic mumbled and gasped. He got out his knife and looked at it. He got an idea! HE slowly inched the knife towards his hemeroid... He quickly cut it. It exploded, and Amy melted in the radioactive hemorrhoid juice of doom. All the land could hear his scream:**

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

**The scream across the land, and Shadow followed it. "Yo yo wat up?" He said. Sonic was lying on the ground, crying and bleeding out of his thigh. "Fzine, dog. If dat's the way you wanna be." Shadow said and flew off to candy land, prancing in the wonderfull flow of chocolate milk waterfull. After his frollicking, he went and ate some live gingerbread men and watched dawn of the dead.**

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**It was a long night for Sonic that night. There isn't any reason why, I just wanted to add some tension to the story. "Hey! Would you shut up and talk about me some more?!" Sonic yelled at me. All of a sudden the ghost of his hemeroid floated into the room. It said, in an ominous voice, "Youuu... Youuy KILLED ME!!!". Sonic screamed like a fukn girl.**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" It screamed back.**

**"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" He screamed back one more time. He grabbed it and stuffed it into his mouth and ate it.**

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THE END. YAY!


	3. U kno

Sonic woke up in the middle of the night and exploded, followed by Amy and Shadow and Tails making out on his pool table. He exploded again. Eggman stepped into the room suddenly and did the cha-cha. "What the hell are you people doing in my house?!" Sonic yelled at them and threw grenades at them. Everything exploded, The whole world exploded. But, just before it did, Shadow escaped to Candy Land and ate more live gingerbreadmen. One was named Carl! Carl exploded in Shadow's stomach and blood, guts, and entrails flew everywhere. YAY ME!

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0_o Wow. Dat waz weird, evn 4 me! New chaptr on the randm mario story. READ IT OR DIE!!!


End file.
